Born Free

Is it weird that while taking out a chicken from the freezer for a good Shabbes dinner, the first thing that came to my mind was this song?

Even worse than that is the fact that the internet hop scotch brought me to where I am right now as I'm writing this post - listening to a playlist of Tom Jones... Yes, that's right. I AM LISTENING TO THE SEX BOMB. Go ahead and take my name off the hip list for all of time. (Saying "hip list" sort of makes me an automatic write-off anyhow, huh?) *quickly youtubes Ladytron and bops head in nonchalant yet utterly hip manner* Nothin to see here. Move along..

Actually, speaking of Ladytron, walking down the street the other day I heard a beat coming from some kiosk that reminded me of one of their songs that I used to listen to constantly on my Discman (who even uses a discman these days??) walking around the slummish neighbourhoods I lived in during University. I gotta tell you that it made my bowels go all crunchy with the memories of the ghosts of Uni past. Fuck if I didn't do a whole lot of things best forgotten back in the day...

But I digress (as usual. Can anyone spell ADD?) - I was actually thinking about freedom, and flying fowl. Or something. *blinks* Ok, sue me, I have no idea what I was thinking about.

I wonder sometimes if everyone's mind is like this - a crazy swirly black hole filled with bouncy rubber balls and disjointed ideas. I always envied those people who seemed to have such a strong grip on their minds - knowing exactly what they wanted from life - a goal always shining at the end of the tunnel to light their paths. Making steps in a direction that had always been a "goal" of my own for so long brings up the inevitable question of, will this be IT? The elusive IT we're all looking for (ok, this is IT. I've found IT. IT is where I want to be...).

Of course I know that it's not that simple, that happiness is something one has to work on constantly. Sort of like finding Mr. Right -- one doesn't tumble into love and that's IT, bring on the babiez and the picket fences, because dude, I am in LURVE!!!1 - I'm with who I am pretty sure is my own Mr. Right, and damn if we don't constantly have to work on finding the perfect rhythm for us.

But this afternoon, cooking non-born-free-range chickens for a shared friday dinner amongst many, and doodling on the laptop with a minimum of clothing and an acute case of bed-head -- I reckon I'll enjoy the journey for now. At least until the next bouncy ball bangs against my cortex just so.